From Longing to Belonging

SONY DSCIt seems that I’m not immune to winter blues after all. After a long illness, the cold and greyness has finally gotten to me after gradually grinding down my optimistic disposition over the past months. It rarely happens, but when it does admittedly I end up a somewhat misanthropic hermit compared to my usual charming and outgoing self. This is a condition that no amount of raw chocolate bonbons seem to be able to cure. I resort to re-watching my favourite movies and TV shows, ready meals and a mild case of self-loathing, while my camera and hiking boots are gathering dust in the corner. The only thing that still uplifts me is looking at travel brochures and drooling over the pictures of exotic travel spots. I like reading travel articles and journals, pretending that I’m along for the journey. In extreme cases I reminisce about past travels I took, going through pictures, and updating my world map with more coveted destinations. Then for a while I feel a little sad for myself, not being able to afford travelling full time and working as a travel writer.

SONY DSCThe slump usually last about a week or so, after which I usually manage to propel myself out of the downward spiral, and step into the manic phase. That includes (mainly but not exclusively) excessive planning and budgeting to make the next bigger trip happen, and juggling my holiday days so I have something left for the second half of the year. I’m telling you, the process is anything but relaxing. Is that maybe a form of escapism? Is it self-torture? Or rather planting an idea in my head, just so it’s there and I subconsciously (and consciously) strive towards the seemingly farfetched goals? Maybe a little bit of all of the above. I wonder if I actually need this turmoil to wake up from my winter slumber, to sort of kickstart my grit again. Or would I start a year in a less needy and more satisfied manner if I lived in a different climate that doesn’t impact my mood so much?

Does anything like this happens to you? If so, how do you deal with it?
Let me know in the comments below.
For more pictures visit my gallery here.

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